LEAPING LEOPARDS

Leopard is THE animal-themed print of the year (not that it wasn't last year too). 

But what could be more dashing (and animal-friendly) than a LIVE leopard as a fashion accessory? Didn't you know? Teensy dogs are SO last season. Teensy-dog-eating beasts of prey are NOW. 

THEN: Sorry, Elle.

NOW: J.Crew. 

It's certainly been done before... in the Golden Age of Hollywood, to be exact. The movie Bringing Up Baby is Katherine Hepburn's "lady of the mad manor" moment - remember her in The Philadelphia Story, swanning around the manse in a hilarious send-up of poor reporter Jimmy Stewart's impression of what the high life is like? In Bringing Up Baby, Hepburn's giddy, touchingly demented socialite takes center stage; escorted by a leopard named "Baby" she drives everyone to distraction (including, of course, the dashing Cary Grant). All ends well for everyone - including Baby - who is rewarded with steaks for not eating any of the local peasantry.

Just out for our afternoon constitutional...

Cartier's holiday ads this season equate little tiggers with big expense (but where is the jeweled collar, Cartier?). WARNING:  baby leopards will eat your accessories. Do not try this at home.

J.Crew - of course - is right on trend, featuring this DARLING five month old baby leopard in their current campaign. If I had Hepburn's dressing gowns and a spare freezer full of steaks, this would be my new pet. Also, I'd probably need a lot of band-aids.

If you are so terribly tame that this fashion season will not include you turning your abode into a Kenyan game preserve, the retailers of America are here to help. Pick from jewellery, accessories, and dresses - but remember, a little spot goes a long way!

/1. Daphne Simon ring at Vivre/ 2. Kenneth Jay Lane/ 3. iphone leopard cover at Amazon/ 4. Kate Spade/ 5. Waylande Gregory Studios at Vivre/ 6. Mulberry for Target/ 7. Leopard Belguique rugs at Ballard Designs/ 8. Judith Leiber/ 9. Oscar de la Renta/

P.S. Know the difference between a leopard, an ocelot, and a cheetah? Neither do I. If I've confused any of these creatures in this post, my apologies to the Animal Kingdom. And, FYI, I don't taste very good.   /Images/ June Pickney/ Elle Woods/ J.Crew/ Cartier/ Hepburn and Baby/ Hepburn and Peck/ *Jewellery is a sponsored link.

Shopping on the Wild Side

Not five minutes into a trip to the department store the other day, I began experiencing elevated heart rate, muscular tension, and a desire to run. Swine flu? Nope - just your typical fight or flight reaction. Racks and racks of leopard spots and tiger stripes had triggered my survival instinct - they were everywhere. The entire women's section looked like a hunting preserve, or Jonathan Adler run amok with a dress form and some belts. And after wandering around awhile in this clothing Kenya, I realized WHY the racks were so full. Nobody was buying this stuff. It was AWFUL.

It pains me to post this. Meet the nylon/lycra/tie-dye cheetah top.

Is it me, or does she look like she's already been mauled by her shirt?

The worst part was that after shopping a bit I began to have a terrible craving for Cheetos (official mascot: the cheetah). Anyway, for such a bold, unabashed look, I'm amazed at the animal print coverage: it is EVERYWHERE. I didn't go in a single mall store without a large zoo section. Leopard spots and zebra stripes have been popular for a while, both in fashion and home, but that doesn't explain why they've suddenly gone everyman. I actually love animal print, but it's not like ruffles, or chartreuse, or any of the other major trends this season: you CAN wear too much zebra.

Anyway, there are plenty of designers doing wonderful animal prints that are perfect for the fall wardrobe - just don't put them all on at the same time.

Lovely leopard at Blumarine.

The ever clever Mr. Marc Jacobs - his tiger stripes are made of miniature tigers.

A Fendi Baguette gets its spots.

As shocking, neon animals go, this one's pretty cool. Tracy Reese holiday collection.

Tory Burch won't be left out! The cheetah print Abbey slipper.

Longchamp

A final word of warning: do not go all safari - or all cheap. Nothing says halloween like a little polyester cheetah!

Images: frillr.com/?q=node/14754, dillards.com, www.theinsider.com, saksfifthavenue.com, 4-6 nordstrom.com, toryburch.com, porcelainfashion.blogspot.com/2009/06/dolce-gabbana-fallwinter-2009-2010-ad.html, hollywoodcostumesandparty.com.